Feeling:
Random Thought:
Music:

Sometime after midnight, the world turned to shit for me. Heart palpitations brought an overwhelming fear to my mind (for obvious reasons). I thought I was dying. I even started a list of final requests. But I'm not ready to die. I have too much to do!

And thoughts of death lead straight to where I've been trying so hard not to go this holiday: into the bowels of depression.

I just ate some breakfast so I could see if the little pains I've been feeling were actual chest pains or hunger pains. Now I just feel sick. And scared.

If it's anxiety, I know that would be better than something serious. But at the same time, it's just as depressing. I've been trying to remedy that problem for almost a year now, and I just keep failing. I go back to medication every time, and what is that solving, really? It's taken care of the symptoms, yes, but it's not fixing whatever the damn problem is.

I just want to be normal. Happy. In love with life.

But apparently, that's not meant to be for me.

Merry Christmas.

<< - >>

Save The Rayne! - 2004-12-27
Want some popcorn? - 2004-06-23
- - 2004-06-19
Pfft. - 2004-06-12
Wheehaa!! Going to see PoA! - 2004-06-02

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