Feeling: Tired.
Random Thought: why me?
Music: Not Listening.

I am so tired. I haven't done anything today except drive, but I'm almost too tired to move.

I just want to go to sleep. I want to end this joke of a day, and pray that tomorrow is better.

I think this whole sleeping on a normal schedule thing is fucking me up. No, it's not healthy, I know. But everything was so quiet before. I didn't feel the need to jump up, and run to check things out every time I heard a noise.

Then again, maybe that's my problem. Maybe I'm carrying a load that's simply too heavy--only I refuse to admit defeat...

As usual.

Or maybe I'm just tired of the people that still call... that still want to know how I am, what I'm doing, where I am in/with school, how long I have left, where I work, how many times I've stopped to pee in the past two days, or two weeks, or months or years since we last spoke.

I'm tired of having to explain myself to them, and feeling that I'm somehow falling hopelessly short of everyone's expectations.

Hell, while we're analyzing me, why not throw in the fact that I'm tired of feeling guilty? That I'm tired of trying?

I'm tired of feeling like I'm stuck on a freaking mental/emotional hamster wheel.

Tired of feeling like a criminal.

Tired of feeling.

Tired.

Just for the hell of it... A song I find strangely intriguing as of late, having heard it only on VH1 or MTV (I forget which one it was). Mind you, this is one of the songs you have to actually hear to get the full effect.

don't hold yourself like that
you'll hurt your knees
i kissed your mouth and back
but that's all i need
don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i'll ask for the sea
don't throw yourself like that
in front of me
i kissed your mouth your back
is that all you need?
don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down
what i am to you is not real
what i am to you you do not need
what i am to you is not what you mean to me
you give me miles and miles of mountains
and i'll ask for what i give to you
is just what i'm going through
this is nothing new
no no just another phase of finding what i really need
is what makes me bleed
and like a new disease she's still too young to treat
volcanoes melt me down
she's still too young
i kissed your mouth
you do not need me

--Damien Rice - Volcanoes

Have bought the CD--'tis on its way to me... I'm convinced I shall make myself sick of it in a week.

<< - >>

Save The Rayne! - 2004-12-27
Want some popcorn? - 2004-06-23
- - 2004-06-19
Pfft. - 2004-06-12
Wheehaa!! Going to see PoA! - 2004-06-02

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