Feeling: Sleepy.
Random Thought: meh.
Music: feh.

Went to the Social Security office with my mom today to take care of filing my dad's death with them. The amount of information they required to record that he was, indeed, deceased (and would therefore no longer require social security retirement money--and wouldn't be applying for any loans in the near or far future, either) was unbelieveable.

I would like to take this moment to smack all of the conspiracy theorists of the world smartly upside the head.

THE GOVERNMENT DOESN'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT YOU! TRUST ME, I BORE WITNESS TO THIS FACT TODAY!

Ahem.

Yeah. They didn't have shit in connection with his SS#, and I'm pretty sure they require that on your application (or whatever initial records they take down) when you sign up for the MILITARY. My mom was required to show up not only with the death certificate, but also with both of their birth certificates, their marriage liscence, his Coast Guard info, etc.

And she had to key in the vital information from all of these documents! You'd think, with us being proverbial slaves to this number, one would simply have to enter in those nine little digits, and get back a volume of information.

But no.

Apparently, they don't get this information about you until after you die. Obviously, they don't need it until it's no longer important.

No longer important.

Well. There are three simple words that describe my view of life lately. Suddenly, nothing is very important to me. Except for the mushy, sentimental stuff, like love and friends and family. I'll save the entire can of worms for later, but for now...

My perspective has been altered. Somewhat drastically. I've always hated hearing people whine about little things they have no control over, but lately it's as though the people who bust out with those little, whine-worthy things have grown fourteen heads and started speaking some alien language. I find myself wanting to scream "Why the fuck are you worried about THAT? Jesus God, people! Life isn't long enough! Get over it, and move forward!"

I think said reaction may be due in part to the fact that I now realize that my time with the people in my life may be cut drastically short at any given moment. And it's magnified by my own, recently acquired doubts that anything lies beyond this lifetime. *will analyze that one later*

Unfortunately, this same reaction has yet to hit me in any of the areas where I seem to need it the most. Such as the life-is-too-short-to-waste-all-your-time-being-sad-over-the-death-of-a-loved-one area.

I shouldn't continue to be sad, should I?

I should move on.

I should stop dwelling on something that cannot be changed.

So, why the fuck can't I seem to do that?!

<< - >>

Save The Rayne! - 2004-12-27
Want some popcorn? - 2004-06-23
- - 2004-06-19
Pfft. - 2004-06-12
Wheehaa!! Going to see PoA! - 2004-06-02

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