Feeling: Like Shit.
Random Thought: *$@&^%# !!!!!!!!
Music: Bah.

What a day.

I've only been awake since about 4:45 this afternoon, mind you, but the day was saving the crap for me while I slept. I couldn't sleep last night, so I didn't pass out until about after 9 this morning. When I first woke up, things were alright. Then, my mom went to the grocery store.

I think she accidentally brought a chaos fairy home with her.

First, I went to write the amount of the check she wrote into the register ('cause she never does that, she just writes them and doesn't care how much is really in there to spend), and saw the two $500 checks written to my brother and sister. That made my stomach hurt, as usual. I would love to be able to sit down with that book--just once--to pay her bills or whatever, without being angry. I don't think I've ever had something to make me angry like this... at least, not something that I couldn't shrug off or tell myself it wasn't worth the energy getting pissed off about it. But I can't seem to do that with this.

I don't understand it. So, I just cry.

Anyway, then the trick-or-treat crap started. Luckily, we only had four visits from that. Unfortunately, my mom had to have pictures of them all--which apparently she can't do by herself.

Then, she decided she wanted to go out for a late-ish supper, so we did that. Just before the (particularly disgusting) meal arrived, she took a moment to tell me that lately she's been feeling... "not right." My mother has Multiple Sclerosis. "Not right" could potentially equal upcoming exacerbation, which in turn could potentially be devastating.

More crying.

She just went to bed, which means that I can now focus on my studying. Too bad I don't have the head for it right now.

Happy fucking Halloween.

<< - >>

Save The Rayne! - 2004-12-27
Want some popcorn? - 2004-06-23
- - 2004-06-19
Pfft. - 2004-06-12
Wheehaa!! Going to see PoA! - 2004-06-02

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