Feeling: Numb
Random Thought:
Music:

Yesterday was long, and hard, and tiring.

We had to pick up the coroner's report. Incompetence amuses me sometimes--in a strange sort of way. My dad died of a heart attack, NOT anything related to his liver. *throws hands up*

Through alookcloser's new love diary, I found another public diary devoted to unsent letters. I almost wrote my own, then decided I might need it later. Plus, it was a wee bit too painful for me. The wound is still too new. No sense breaking out the salt just yet.

Btw, nice job on the love diary, alookcloser!

In other icky news, we found out that my dad's life insurance settlement is payable over 36 months. I know there's a blessing in there somewhere, but I'm just having a hard time seeing it right now. I mean, I'm the one who's left to take care of the finances, and now... instead of feeling comfort in knowing that everything is being taken care of up front, I have the stress of knowing that I'll have to juggle all of those debts over a three-year period.

Sleeping on it helped. I was a bit more optimistic about the situation when I woke up this morning. Still am. But last night, when I first found out, I called Silver to ask for help. I've never dealt with life insurance and debts of a deceased person (and frankly, I'm getting sick of the lessons that life has been dishing out to me lately), so I don't know if there are legal channels one can take to alter something like this. I just wanted him to tell me that he'd look into it. That he'd talk to his lawyer(s) and find out something--even if it's the fact that they don't know, or that it can't be done!

I just needed to hear that I had help.

But the words didn't come. Instead I was patronized, and then supervised. "Don't worry about it. You can do it. All you have to do is figure up the percentages of who gets what each month."

Thanks.

I cried. I felt awful because I was reminded of how alone I am in all of this. I have all of these new responsibilities that I didn't ask for, and I feel like I'm failing miserably. What's worse...I have no one that I can turn to. No one to take care of me.

...

Eh, fuck it. I don't need anyone's help. I'll do it myself. People are unreliable, anyway. I don't know where I got the notion that I could actually trust someone to help me, but you can bet I won't make that mistake again.

Anyway, Mom called several people this morning. She has to take care of actually notifying the insurance company and social security and the various financial institutions of Daddy's death. Paperwork is on its way, and we have an appointment with the SS office next friday. Or maybe it's this friday. Who knows? Who cares? My schedule is forever free.

Empty.

<< - >>

Save The Rayne! - 2004-12-27
Want some popcorn? - 2004-06-23
- - 2004-06-19
Pfft. - 2004-06-12
Wheehaa!! Going to see PoA! - 2004-06-02

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