Feeling:
Random Thought:
Music:

I feel so stupid and so childish.

I'm also feeling sick right now.

When I first started feeling nauseated, I got a cold rush at the same time, so I couldn't tell if I was going to be sick or have a panic attack. Neither seemed like fair prospects to endure alone, so I woke my mom up and asked her to sit up with me for a bit. >_<

Now, I just feel like... an idiot. I realized I didn't just want her there. I wanted Daddy there, too. I can't stand this imbalance. Too many women, and basically no male counterparts to help level it out. I don't feel like I have anyone solid and stable in my life right now. Not real life, anyway.

Nearly a whole fucking year, and I still haven't gotten used to it. I haven't adjusted properly, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've accepted that he's gone, that things will never go back to the way they were, and that life has most definitely moved forward. Have I missed anything?

If you see or think of something, do be sure to let me know.

And on that note, I've decided to leave this fucking house every day. I don't care where I go or what I do or who I see or talk to, I just have to leave it. Even if it's just an hour. Money be damned.

It's gotta save my sanity.

<< - >>

Save The Rayne! - 2004-12-27
Want some popcorn? - 2004-06-23
- - 2004-06-19
Pfft. - 2004-06-12
Wheehaa!! Going to see PoA! - 2004-06-02

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