Feeling: Bored.
Random Thought: ...
Music: No music here.

I have on striped underwear. And not just any stripes, mind you--these look like Victoria Secret had a particularly nasty brawl with the Brady Bunch.

Santa and I must have a word of prayer.

I mean, I'm sure he meant it as a gentle nudge in the direction of spicing things up, but panties that have icky colored stripes is most definitely not the way to go about it.

Besides, I think my spice cabinet is empty.

I think it was born that way.

So, I did the bills tonight, and actually wrote a pissy entry that got lost (thankfully). Doing the bills always pisses me off, but what can you do? Nothing. Bills are a fact of life.

And now for something entirely stupid--written last night because I was bored out of my mind. It's a typical half-day in my life (although, told from the third person perspective)... and rather pathetic, really.

Stop grinding your teeth! She mentally scolded herself, as she ran her tongue along the hard, white ridges. It was a bad habit born from what she pretended was simply a nervous nature. The same nature that demanded she be sedated in order to sleep. She supposed there were medicinal treatments for it, probably therapy, too. But she had neither the time, nor the inclination to check into them. She wouldn't have the money to afford any such treatments, even if she wanted to, truth be known.

And she certainly would never admit that she was just restless with life in general.

She turned her attention back to her computer, and flexed her fingers. There was a blank page in her word processor program open, and it begged to be filled with words.

Perhaps a fictional town... two lovers just met... of course, they'd have to hate each other in the beginning--isn't that how these things always work? Oh, and he's rich and handsome... CEO of a major auto-parts corporation.

Are the words "auto" and "parts" hyphenated? Check later.

She's poor, but hopelessly beautiful. Naturally, she doesn't know it. She's probably an environmentalist, too. Yeah, and she's rallying a campaign against his company for dumping toxic chemicals into some field (or something...) that allows it to seep into the water supply.

She stared at the blinking cursor, and could have sworn it was shouting obscenities at her as it flashed monotonously. The idea was crappy, she knew it. The plot sucked. It was as simple as that.

Okay, fantasy. A forest filled with... nymphs. Yeah, nymphs are cool. Note to self: research nymphs. A mortal man gets lost, and ultimately trapped, in the forest. There, naturally, he falls in love with one of the beauties. But then he's found by a rescue party from his village, and has to leave her. Soon thereafter, he learns that he's not really a mortal man, but an... um... ogre?

Fuck!

She closed the window. It was futile to think that she could satisfy her need for creativity in this way. Not today, at least. She'd have to come back to Ogre Boy later. Instead, she opened up her graphics program, and decided she'd work on a picture she'd been fiddling with for the past few months.

She played around with the various brushes, tools, effects, and whatnot for a couple of hours, then sat back. It looked like shit. Who was she kidding? Saving it anyway, she closed the program and sighed. What now?

Oh, cooking!

Pushing herself back from the desk, she went into the kitchen and opened the cabinets, perusing the items. Then, the same for the refrigerator.

No brown sugar, only one egg. Nope, doesn't look like we'll be doing much damage in here, either.

As she left the kitchen, she eyeballed the television in the living room, debating the merits of a good movie. In the very next moment, she was sorting through the various DVDs atop the cabinet that housed the entertainment center. Pirates or elves... pirates or elves? She tipped them in her hands as if she were a scale, and the weight of them would determine the winner.

The elves won.

She settled herself into the recliner, and waited through the annoying musical overture, then clicked the select button on her remote control to start the film. Exquisite scenic footage... a wizard diving to through a fiery hell, into water... all a bad dream. Hobbits, now, best friends--the only thing keeping one another alive.

The phone rings. She glares.

KILL THE PHONE!

She paused the movie to get up and check the caller I.D. She didn't recognize the number, so she left it for the answering machine. "Hey, this is Slutty." Heh. Glad I didn't pick that up. "I was just calling to thank y'all for our presents. I loved my sweater," You better have, it was Eddie Bauer. She could feel a vein bulging in her forehead. All those bills! "Mariah loved the dog." Ty, $12 before tax. More vein action. "And I used the money to get her some more stuff, too." That was the point. Glad to know you actually got it. "Anyway, just wanted to say thank you. Love y'all." There was a moment in which her bitterness faltered, but it was quickly righted. Yeah, you love our generosity, same as always.

She pressed "play" again, and shoved aside all thoughts regarding the telephone call, escaping back into the make-believe world on the screen. An hour passed, maybe longer, before the whining bark of one of the dogs alerted her to her mother's return home. Sure enough, outside the window, the silver truck passed by on its way up the driveway. Sighing, she stopped the movie, switched it back to the music channel on the satellite, and wandered back to her computer.

She always felt compelled to hide out in her room whenever her mother was home and awake. Deep down inside, she was sure it had something to do the fact that she felt like a guest in this house. She'd long since passed the age where it felt like it belonged to her, too, and she desperately wanted a place to call her own.

She looked at the hand-drawn layout of a house--her house--that was pinned to the wall just beside her computer desk. It was the only dream she had left. One day. She told herself. One day.

And she opened her word processor to another blank page, to begin the war of emptiness once again.

<< - >>

Save The Rayne! - 2004-12-27
Want some popcorn? - 2004-06-23
- - 2004-06-19
Pfft. - 2004-06-12
Wheehaa!! Going to see PoA! - 2004-06-02

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